oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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