i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
