some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Jerry, you need to find god
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
