I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
