you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
