I wish I could teleport
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
