Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
