why didn't you poke me back
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
