dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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