ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
