Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
