Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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