You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
