Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
