After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
