You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
