Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
