he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
