I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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