I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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