I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
