remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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