A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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