i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
