I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
