I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
