I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
