Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
