Yo dont text me then not text me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He shit in the fireplace
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
