the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
