As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
