I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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