i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
