I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
PANTIES FOUND
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