you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
