After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
