He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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