The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
