Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
