i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
