So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
