So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
