So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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