I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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