A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm too high and old for this...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
