i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
