He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
