I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
