I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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