Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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