Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
