Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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