Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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