Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
