I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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