I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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