His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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