Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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